Domestic Violence: Always Blaming it on Devil – Victims Cry Out

The popular saying that ‘it takes two to tangle’ is indeed true, but when the tangle becomes so unpleasant and repeatedly carried out on the weaker party; then it is time to end the music or to start another tune.

The story of Madam Erikefe Omoyora, a single mother with five children elicits empathy as a victim of a kind of domestic violence. It wasn’t out of her choice neither did she choose the father of her children who was snatched away by death. Her ordeal was that the man, she later called her husband couldn’t live one day without beating her up.

The beating became so regular, scary and intense to the extent that they became so notorious in the neighbourhood; being a reference point on issues bothering on domestic violence.  On each occasion she got battered, she ended up in the hospital leaving her with severe injuries such as swollen eye, fractured bones, a miscarried pregnancy and much more. And every time it happened, he would blame it on the devil. And she would always forgive him.

These episodes became frequent as the years went by. Some neighbours dared to intervened, but the beating wouldn’t stop.  In fact, the more the beating, the more babies she produced for the wicked husband.

“It was like the normal story in the city; where a house would be sold and the tenants are left in the dark, but suddenly a new landlord emerges and drives everyone from the house. So, my family and I were at home that fateful evening when some men came in and started throwing our belongings out; it was raining heavily. My other children were equally very young so they couldn’t do much. All they could do was to cry.”

“I had to run to a good neighbor in the area. She came to our rescue taking her SUV and her husband to help us pack our personal effects. She was also pregnant like I was. We were forced to become tenants in my neighbour’s small apartment and they were so nice. Before this time, my husband would beat me up and no external body dared interfere because we would be in the house fighting and he would make sure that the doors were locked. He was exceptionally wicked.”

“But he was not so fortunate this time around because we were not only squatting, but we were given just a room in the flat. So, when his usual madness started; he locked me inside the room as he usually does, but luck wasn’t on his side that day as our hosts had to break the door to gain access for my rescue.”

But like the last straw, it happened again while putting up in her friend’s house; and without regard to their predicament, her husband, like a malaise, couldn’t respect resist the urge of bashing his wife, again pounced on her like a boxer struggling for a medal.  She became the punching bag and tried right inside their friend’s house. Neighbours including their host who attempted to rescue Erikefe also had a douse of the punches, leaving the host almost losing her pregnancy to the scuffle.   Angered by the development, sympathisers had to force Erikefe’s husband out of the house.

Erekefe narrated: “It is already six years since my husband left home; my last child whose pregnancy I had when he left me is already five years old. I moved out of my friend’s place after my child was born. I got the children and I a self-contained apartment.”

Erekefe, although a single-parent, expressed happiness over what she called freedom from the bashing of a wicked husband.  Even with five children to care for, the petty trader maintained that she is happier than having him around. But whether the children will continue to live without the emotional and physiological attachment of a father lives much to be desired.

In the same vein, Ngozi Ndubere, (not real names) a 26-year old young woman was another victim of domestic violence with physical and physiological consequences. Her case was not a different from Erikefe’s. In her case, her husband couldn’t trust her with the least of men; not even with the newspaper vendor. Each smile from her lips or salutation lands her the beating of her life.

We gathered that neighbours and well wishers avoided her when her husband was around.  Ngozi, though with naivety initially blamed it on ‘too much love’ which her husband had for her, but she knew better when the brutality became uncontrollable.

It became apparent she had to get her freedom when the aggression was duly extended to their only son.

Speaking to the newsmen Ngozi said she had to run away from home with their only child.

“I am living in peace in another state, managing to provide the necessary care for my only son,” she said.

Also, in another development, Mama Jose in Ago area of Lagos told her story to Saturday Vanguard She described her ordeal in the hands of her husband as crazy, adding that for a marriage which survived 20 years of peaceful marriage.  She wondered that it was the least she could ever imagined that would crash her 20-year old marriage.

The middle aged woman who could not hold back tears said: My last child is nearly 20 years old. So, it is mind-blowing that my husband of that long could still raise his hands to hit me to the extent that my left eye was so swollen as though I was hit with a sledge hammer. It took me three months to recuperate. It is crazy and wicked of any man to do that”

But that was not all, the crisis had degenerated so much, setting father and son on war path. The victim hinted that her only son had vowed to avenge the pain inflicted on her mother. That may just be the beginning of the unending war in Mama Jose family if something is not done to avert it.

By Florence Amagiya 

Source: Vanguard